I got up at 4:45 a.m. to run this morning. I’ve run 102 marathons in the past 6 1/2 years, and I’ve run them fairly well — I have 27 Boston qualifiers and was recently accepted to run in my 6th consecutive Boston Marathon. But there’s one thing I don’t want to be called: a runner.
As weird as that sounds, I don’t view myself as a runner. The reason for that is pretty simple. I don’t want that to define me. It’s just something I do. I’m not a runner. I’m a guy who likes to run. I like to eat oatmeal, but I’m not an oatmealer. I was thinking about this (on my run) yesterday morning, because I always wonder what I should blog about. And running just doesn’t feel that important to me.
My favorite thing about running is that it gives me my quiet time that I need in the morning and it gives me a way to push myself and stay in shape. But it’s my hobby. It’s not who I am, and the day I let it define me is the day I’ve neglected what really matters.
I’m a father of three. I’m a husband. I’m pretty flawed at both, but that’s to be expected — I’m human, so I’m definitely imperfect. I have some good days and some bad days. I pray every day for the strength and wisdom to do a better job at both and I certainly have room for improvement. But that’s what I am.
I also think I’m an autism fighter — not by my choosing, but it’s a role I’ve been thrust into. My middle child, 9-year-old Jack, is severely autistic. If you’ve ever ben to this site, you’re well aware of that. If not, click here and see what I do and what I’ve done and what Operation Jack is.
I feel like I don’t really know much about autism — my wife Tiffany is the expert in our household — but I still have an obligation to talk about it and fight it. Our lives start as blank canvases and we all follow different paths. We’re all unique and we all have different purposes. It definitely feels like these are mine.
I have three kids with different needs and personalities and nothing I ever do will be more important than raising them. I’m married to my best friend and the quality of her stay here in this world will be hugely impacted by what kind of husband I am.
And then there’s fighting autism, which starts with Jack. I know it’s my responsibility to go to the ends of the earth for him. We lose a lot of sleep over the battles we go through for him and there’s no end in sight. On top of that, I find myself in the middle of the autism community. People need advice, charities need help. I make a habit out of biting off more than I can chew, but I always try my best.
When it comes to any of this vs. running, I always try to make sure running loses. If Jack wakes up early, I skip my morning run and stay with him because he needs to be tended to and I’d rather let Tiffany sleep. When Tiffany wants to get out of the house in the morning to go to the gym and pound out her frustrations, I sacrifice my time slot for her. Life has to come first.
So father, husband, autism fighter. That’s what I am. That’s what I hope I always will be. I’m not a runner. If this ever changes, I’m doing something wrong.[subscribe2]
I like this post a lot. And oatmealer made me laugh 🙂
As someone who has ran her fair share of marathons, I LOVED this post. I, too, think there are so many people who have neglected too much in their lives in pursuit of a mediocre running career.
I opted to “retire” from marathoning for awhile, at the request of my husband. He said it was dictating our lives too much, and I respected that. So, now I run maybe 4-5 miles a day to enjoy it and decompress. I am so much happier now, and so is he. I realized how much everything became about running marathons; even planning vacations around them. It is a hobby for me and I will always choose my husband and marriage over running any day (even if it means I may pack on some extra pounds).
Great post and I hope other runners see this and take note!
Interesting post. As someone who truly enjoys running and has ran everyday since Jan. 1, 2010, if I were asked to describe myself…runner would be no where near the top off my list. Running is something I do, not who I am. I would imagine if we tried to label ourselves, we would use countless words and not a single one would encompass all that we are. I usually run about 3.5 miles a day and the total time involved is less time then I spend getting ready in the morning. It is all about priorities. Since my family is #1 we have cancelled our cable and spend our evenings enjoying each other rather than vegging in front of the TV. Sometimes I run in the morning and sometimes I run late at night. In the last 1001 days, I have NEVER been forced to sacrifice what is most important to me for what I enjoy doing. There is always time if we spend it wisely.
I say embrace the fact that you are a runner. It is no where near the most important role you play, but I would imagine, like me. it does help you better excel at the roles that are the most important to you.
Signed,
Runner
Extremely well stated, your priorities are very well in place!!